hey guess what?

It's been almost a year...imagine that. Lot's of shit has been going on, also, I don't have an internet connection at my house so it's kind of hard to post with no connection. I guess that I really don't have much to say except that with the neglect of my blog also came the neglect of my myspace page and WOW have there been some really interesting emails to come out of that....I have one huge newsflash and it's for men. No one, with perhaps the exception of Tila Tequila and her lot, responds well to overt propositions from strangers on the fucking internet. The next asshat that emails me and tells me that he can make me feel "better" (as I obviously need someone to help me with that) I will personally hunt down myself and make it so that they need help feeling better themselves. How do you like them apples?

SO to make what could have been a long and interesting post the reader's digest version I will now log off. I will be back later, I made a resolution to actually update this damn thing...we'll see how long that lasts.

Laters.

Has Half of the Entire Eastern Seaboard Called you at 10 AM when you're trying to sleep in?

Dude. Ok, I closed the store myself last night. Facts being that the laziest person that I have ever personally met closed the night before and it was a fucking disgusting mess (seriously? Black mop water, but whatever) and I didn't get out of there until 12:30 in the morning. I really (she said, in her whiniest voice) really wanted to sleep. Nope. First mom, then work, then mom, then work. But whatev.

Right now I'm drinking my coffee and eating a cookie for breakfast, because I am an adult and I can and don't anyone tell me otherwise. Cookies are good for any meal really; a multi-purpose food, but I'll get into that later. No, seriously, and this isn't an idle threat, if anyone lectures me on my eating habits, so help me god, I will write a thousand words on how cookies are a multi-purpose food. And, YOU ALL WILL READ IT. This means you Christy.

Ok, I have nothing else to say. I've been working since last Monday straight through with one puny little day off on Sunday that may as well have not even been a day off because I spent it fighting with Spiderman over the dumbest. thing. ever. And no, I will not be discussing it here at any point in time. I'm tired and non-funny right now.

I'm going to go get some more coffee.

Holy Crap It's Been a Long Ass Time

Wow. I'm tired. I don't do anything but work these days now that school is out for the time being. Umm, there's not much to say really, maybe there is and I don't feel like talking about it, but for now I'm going with there's not much to say. Honestly. Nothing witty at all.

EXCEPT. one thing. Who from San Diego is looking at this? Because the pretentious soul sucking bastard lived there for a time after he tried to kill me and then left the state and I was wondering if it was him. Although I'm pretty sure he's still sleeping in mommy's basement. Or with some poor, poor girl whom he's duped into thinking he's an actual functioning human being.

I'm going to go be a geek and watch Battlestar Galactica with my boyfriend.

Jenninja, get in touch with me, k?

I just had to jump out of Spiderman's window

Because his MOM showed up at his house and knocked at the door and announced herself RIGHT after we had .....well you know. The one thing I'm not talking about on this thing is my sex life. Luckily for all of us I was fully clothed and he lives on the first floor of his building otherwise I would have been screwed. Or dead. Or both.

Man, you know when you start to write something that you think's going to be funny and then just can't finish it? Let's just sum this up with me getting caught. Her yelling "You can come out HB, I know you're here. I love you." Then I had to give her a cigarette.

The end.

PSA -- while jumping out of a window, first assess what is on the ground below it. If it is a thorny prickly bush, scout for other options.

Why do I even do this?

I'm in the throes of self-pity right now, so you all will have to excuse me. Spidey is making me feel like I'm at his house too often, that I'm in the way, that I need to have something other to do than be with him. I doubt that he even reads this, he has more important things to do than to read my stupid ass blog. Or so I presume. Right now it feels to me that the only purpose I serve to him is to be there, but only when he wants me to be. This has happened before, with Julian.

This isn't directed solely at the person in question, but has anyone else noticed just how fucking self-centered men are? That they only want you to ask questions when it's convenient for them? That they only want your input on something,...well, never? Or when it serves their purpose?

Am I blowing things out of proportion? I'm sure that I am, I have a lot of hangups about these things. Still doesn't mean that it doesn't hurt. Right now he's in his room learing the NIN version of "Hurt" from my CD. I meant to leave as soon as I dropped him off, after I had gathered up the rest of my things (he asked me to get all my stuff together and put it all in his room, does that sound like he's pushing me into a corner or am I being too sensitive?), but I wanted to check my blog, even though it doesn't have a tracker, just to see if anyone had left a comment, no one had of course, I guess because my audience is like two.

I guess I'll talk to you both later.

Open Letter to the Pretentious Soul Sucking Bastard From Hell.

Hello, Pretentious Soul Sucking Bastard From Hell,

Boy, that's a long name, we'll just call you PSB for short, how about that? Oh, wait, why am I asking, because honestly I don't give a shit what you think.

So, it's been a year since you almost ruined my life. I hope that you're miserable and still living in your mommy's basement. It's certainly what you deserve. Actually, you deserve worse, so I hope karma finally caught up with you, you lying asshole.

How have I been? Fan-fucking-tastic. I'm dating someone who loves me for me and doesn't call me fat or try to hurt me. That was you by the way, in case you suddenly developed amnesia like you did every single fucking time you did it. I still hate you. That I can't shake. I wish I could, but it's like a cancer, I've been in remission for a while now, but every once in a while I have a relapse of simple and complete hatred. You've been gone an entire year now, and about this time last year I was a suicidal mess, thank you for that. It proved to me that I am stronger without you, or anyone for that matter. I still need people (Spidey, I love you), but I'm strong and resilient and I don't take anyone's shit, and that is all because of you, motherfucker.

You're pathetic, you know that, you alcoholic piece of shit? I hope by now you have driven off anyone you have ever loved, I'm pretty sure that you're capable of doing that as well. I'm pretty much convinced that you're a sociopath and a lying sack of shit (also known as a compulsive liar), and you called me crazy? Take a look in the mirror, asshole, because that's the crazy one. Crazy people are the ones who like guns and lie about everything and hurt their girlfriends who they're taking advantage of by trying to live free off of them. Notice that I said trying, you only left when it became apparant that I wasn't going to let you live with me for free. God, I hate you.

I love my boyfriend. I'm happy. I have my painting. I have school. I have work. I'm a busy person, and this time it's not just to forget about you, but because I do things I love.

You on the otherhand, are probably still sitting on your sofa, writing pointless code and draining your parents dry of love and money. You are not capable of loving anyone but yourself. I'm glad that I've realized that, you fucking Narcissist.

It's been great not talking to you, let's do this more often.
sincerely,
the person that hates you most in the world, Hell's Belle

sick, sick, sick

I hate being sick and I know that many of you have requested that I post a non-negative post every once in a while but this will not be it. I cannot shoot sunshine and flowers out of my ass for you at this very moment. Why does eveyone think that I HAVE to be positive, maybe, just maybe in this world there exist a few of us non-positive, surly, combative people who just are like that and can't be outwardly happy all the freaking time. No offense, yo, but I'm getting kind of tired of people telling me to "just be happy" don't you think that if I could I would? Do you think I enjoy being like this? No. That is your answer, no, I do not enjoy being like this and I would greatly appreciate it if all the sally sunshines in the world would jump directly off my back and leave me alone with it. I bitch on here because it is a way for me to vent in a healthy manner. Would you rather I run people down with my car at the sority dorm? Or in the parking lot at the grocery store? No, I didn't think you would. I love the people who have told me this time and again, but I. Am. Not. Sally. Sunshine. and I never will be, so stop trying to force it.