Did you know that there are two different sub-species of men? Another ugly fact that I was reminded of this weekend. What are they? There are the ones that are assholes and aren't ashamed of it, and then . . . there are those who are assholes and are so ashamed of it that they hide it under this "nice guy" veneer.
Here are some examples....Let's call him Puke, just for fun's sake. I called him to see if he wanted to do anything on Saturday night. He said he was sick. I took him medicine. There was another girl there. Let's call her Stupid Girl who used to Live Next Door With Really Shitty Hair and Is Not As Pretty as me. Just about two weeks ago Puke and I had a conversation where he OH SO KINDLY explained that he didn't want anyone in his life, casual or otherwise. And then there the girl with the shitty hair was. I get it. Or at least I think I do. Maybe I cared too much? Maybe I was too available? Maybe, god forbid he lied to me and I wasn't pretty or thin enough. Fucker.
Example number two...Lying Lyer from job 2. we talk for a bit, I thought it was flirtatious, I gave him my phone number, he promptly told another girl from job 2 and then it mushroom clouded from there. Again, fucker. He got the big eyes and said "I never meant to hurt anyone" I say that's bullshit.
If anyone reads this, which I doubt, I got out of a fairly long term relationship about six months ago with an abusive bastard. What I don't want to hear are: You need more time; it takes twice as long to get over a relationship as you were in it; not all guys are shit; there is someone out there for you; it will happen when you least expect it, blah blah blah. I've heard all of those a million times and I really don't want to hear it again.
I'm angry. That should be more than obvious. I'm angry at the world, at the bastard that made me this way, I'm angry that the mad is turning into coldness and pretty soon I'll have pushed everyone away.
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